


The best kept Secret

by MoonshineMadame



Series: The Spellman twins [1]
Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)
Genre: Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Twins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-20 09:14:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17019927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonshineMadame/pseuds/MoonshineMadame
Summary: Hilda has never been jealous of the bond between her brother and sister. It's perfectly normal for twins to have a special connection, especially when they are witches.And Zelda manages to carry on, somehow, without her other half but no matter how hard she's trying, there is nothing Hilda can do to take the pain away.





	The best kept Secret

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own 'The chilling adventoures of Sabrina'.

Hilda is exactly 16 months younger than Edward. And Zelda is exactly 13 minutes older than he is. Not that she knew that until her grandmother told her – she was already an adult then and both of their parents were gone. In fact, it was just a few hours after her mother’s funeral and Zelda had excused herself from the parlour where Hilda and Edward sat, still grieving – and she couldn’t.

It wasn’t that Zelda did not like her mother but it simply was a fact that they didn’t get along very well. She never knew why her mother seemed to resent her so much but she had always assumed that it was because all her parents wanted was their perfect son and heir. They had both with Edward, their firstborn, and Zelda, his younger twin, well, she was nothing but an inconvenience. Hilda on the other had was the little darling, sweet and doted on.

Perhaps it wasn’t surprising that Zelda had always been the one that was overlooked, no matter how good or bad she behaved or how high her marks were. She could never be like her perfect brother or her sweet sister. So Zelda promised herself that she would become the best at everything, so her parents couldn’t possibly ignore her anymore.

She unsurprisingly was successful in her endeavour – she was, after all, a most talented witch – but it was made so much harder by her siblings. It would have been a lot easier for her if she didn’t love them so damn much.

With Edward it wasn’t a question, they were twins – they were bound to be closer to each other than to anyone else. Hilda, on the other hand, that had been a bit of a surprise to Zelda. Of course, when Hilda was born she was barely a year old herself but when they were all old enough to run around in the gardens and Zelda was told to have an eye on the other two, she took it to heart. And when Hilda nearly toppled over and into the pond because she wanted to pick the little flowers on the edge so she could make a flower crown for Zelda, that moment Zelda knew that she would never let anyone harm her sister.

Still, even though Zelda managed to achieve what she had promised herself, their parents didn’t take much notice of her. Hilda and Edward tried to make up for it, telling her how proud they were but it just wasn’t the same, not what she was yearning for.

Barley a week had passed after her graduation that Zelda was off to see the world. Edward was mad she didn’t want him to come with him so he could protect her – as if she’d need protection, pah! – and Hilda missed her terribly but Zelda couldn’t allow herself to give in.

She had planned to travel for a few months, maybe a year, but she ended up spending nearly three decades travelling through all of Europe, Scandinavia and parts of Russia. Of course she saw her siblings occasionally in between, when they had a similar destination, and they kept in close contact through letters and mirror calls but the number of times that she was in contact with her parents could be counted on one hand.

Only one of those times her mother was the one who initiated the contact, to let her know their new address in Greendale. As if Zelda needed to be told that they moved close to her grandparents. Because unlike her parents, they treated Zelda exactly like her siblings. And her grandmother, well, she might just favour Zelda a little bit.

The point, though, was that Zelda couldn’t bring herself to grieve about her mother the same way Hilda and Edward did and hence found herself sitting in the kitchen with a glass of wine when her grandmother approached her.

At first they sat in silence and she watched curiously as the older woman quickly moved her fingers in order to cast some silent spells. Only when she was done did she turn towards her granddaughter and the look on her face made Zelda uneasy.

“There is something you need to know, Zelda”, she began, which made Zelda frown.

“Is something wrong?”

“No…it’s complicated, dear. I’m going to tell you something and I want you to listen until the end.”

“Of course.” There was an uneasy look on her grandmother’s face and she just couldn’t help but worry. What could possibly be so important that she would only tell Zelda and put a privacy spell up to keep the other two from accidentally eavesdropping?

“When you and Edward were born, there were two people with your mother, the midwife and myself. And she made us swear to never breath a word of what she did but now...I was against it, I thought it was wrong – I still do. But with both of them gone I am the only one who knows and I think you have the right to know.”

“Know what?”

“Edward.”

“What about him?” Now Zelda was really getting confused, what was her grandmother trying to say? She was usually so good with words!

“Edward was not born first.” When she looked up at her granddaughter’s face she looked her age for the first time. She took a deep breath before fixing her eyes on Zelda’s.

“You are the oldest Spellman, child. Not your brother, you. You were born 13 minutes before him and when your mother couldn’t bear the thought of not having a male heir, she decided to tell everyone you were the younger one. She made us promise not to tell – “

“Are you making fun of me?” There was something in Zelda’s voice that sounded almost broken – and were those tears in her eyes? Stunned for a moment, her grandmother gently took her hands.

“I would never do such a thing, Zelda, you know that, don’t you? I know it is a lot to take in but I couldn’t lie to you any longer…but you can’t tell anyone of this.”

Zelda didn’t seem to hear her. Instead she was staring right through her, deep in thought.

“It explains a lot, doesn’t it? Why she hated me so much. I made one mistake that I couldn’t righten and that was be born first. If I was really born after Edward it wouldn’t have mattered…” She trailed off again, still not looking at her grandmother.

Later, the older woman would often wonder if she had done the right thing to tell Zelda the truth. Oh, make no mistake, she was still convinced that Zelda had every right to know but that didn’t mean such knowledge could hurt. And hurt Zelda it did.

It wasn’t obvious to anyone but Zelda was beating herself up about her new knowledge – both physically and mentally. She had somehow managed to disappoint her mother before she was even born simply because her beloved brother didn’t want to be born first.

Now no one could ever claim that Zelda Spellman wasn’t a strong woman but even the strongest of them had a breaking point. Nobody seemed to be aware of that, not her grandmother, not Hilda, not even Edward. So it was a shock to everyone when one morning she was just gone, her room empty except for the letter on her bed.

She had to think, she claimed, she needed time for herself and once she knew where she was headed she would let them know her address. Once again Zelda was travelling, trying to forget the fact that apparently she had been nothing but a disappointment to the people who were supposed to love her unconditionally.

Eventually, she had agreed to meet Edward and Hilda again, in London. Neither of them commented on what had happened – not that they knew enough to even think of something here – and they came to the silent agreement that it would never be spoken of again.

But still, the first night they were reunited again, Edward slipped into her room just when she was about to go to sleep.

“You are wonderful, Zee”, he smiled as he sat on her bed. She didn’t turn around as she continued to brush her hair and he took that as permission to continue.

“I don’t know what happened, and I will not ask – but know that there is no one who is more talented than you. I’ll never know why mother and father didn’t want to see it but you’re brilliant, Zee, and I am so terribly proud that you are my sister.”

She had broken down in tears then and the next thing she knew were Edwards arms around her and his soothing voice that always calmed her down the way nothing else could. At some point neither of them remembered he moved them to the bed and they fell asleep, cuddled together as if they were children again.

Maybe it had been stupid to leave, Zelda sometimes thought, when all she needed had been there all along. So after that day she made a new promise to herself: Never again would she try to be perfect for anyone but herself.

 

* * *

 

 

Back in the day, when they were still students at the academy, it had always been ‘Zelda-and-Edward’. Not in a romantic way, of course, but in a rather terrifying one. Everyone knew not to trifle with either one of them or the twins’ wrath would be upon one. And nobody in their right mind would freely the two most powerful students be cross with them, not to mention that they were on top of all their classes, couldn’t do anything wrong in the teachers’ eyes and had most of the student body eating from their palms.

No, they had a reputation, both together and each on their own. But after they travelled through the world for, physically separated for years, people seemed to forget that they were once only known as a pair.

That changed again, when their grandmother died and left them the mortuary. Well, Zelda, to be specific but it was clear that they would all move back in together.

Zelda and Edward had been more or less inseparable for the last few decades when they had been off exploring the world. They had different reasons for their travels, Edward wanted to pursue his studies in covens all over the world to have a better chance of becoming high priest and Zelda wanted to meet different cultures and learn as much of everything as she could, but with her breakdown in London he was hesitant to leave her again.

After a while, Hilda had joined them and they spend many fun years all across Europe. Looking back, those had perhaps been their most joyous years. Even the early years of being back in Greendale were happy and when Ambrose was put under house arrest for trying to blow up the Vatican, they took him in and somehow managed to cheer him up a bit.

Oh, it wasn’t perfect, they had their fights and disagreements – mostly Hilda and Zelda, really – but in the end they always made up again. Just like they used to when they were children.

Of course they were adults now, and not children anymore, so they had important things to think about. Ambrose had quickly offered to help his aunts with the bodies in the mortuary which they happily accepted. It gave Hilda time to keep the house tidy and clean and Zelda to support Edward in every possible way so he could become high priest soon.

It did work out better than expected and much quicker, despite the affair Zelda had begun with her brother’s friend and mentor. But she just hadn’t been able to help herself, he did have a certain charm that she found momentarily appealing … either way, Edward ended up being High Priest much sooner than he had hoped for and the mood in the Spellman household was…good.

Until it wasn’t.

Of the three of them, Hilda was the only one with Empathetic powers and the ability to peak into anyone’s mind. Zelda and Edward were only able to contact family members in their thoughts while Hilda could tune into just anyone. But they were still twins and that gave them a very special bond. So whenever something was really wrong, the other one of them would immediately know, unless of course they completely cut themselves of for a time.

At first, Zelda hadn’t even noticed the shift but one evening it hit her that something was different about Edward. For a few days, she watched him and when he came home later than usual, smelling like flowery perfume, she decided to wait up.

“Who is it, Edward?” She asked into the darkness the moment she hears him come through the front door.

“What could you possibly mean, sweet sister?” he answered with a smile but she just rolled her eyes.

“You know perfectly well what I’m talking about, Ed. Who is the girl?”

Edward eyed her carefully as if he was trying to figure out what she was thinking. Usually he was quite good at that but today Zelda was mad. Not about him seeing someone, even getting serious, no, she was mad that he kept it secret from her. As if she wouldn’t notice!

After a moment, he sighed and rubbed his forehead.

“She’s wonderful, Zelda. I think you would really get along quite well with her…her name is Diana.”

Zelda frowned, trying to think of any Dianas in the Coven.

“Diana…Marquard? No, she’s having a thing going on with Nick…Diana Corbeaux? But she hates you…Edward, who is this girl?” She suddenly had a very bad feeling about this and it didn’t get better when Edward looked at her sheepishly.

“Diana Sawyer. She’s from Riverdale – “

“A mortal?! Edward!”

She hadn’t even noticed that she jumped up until she was pacing in front of the fireplace. The flares she threw at her brother made him squirm uncomfortably and for once, she looked every bit as intimidating to him as she did to everyone else.

“Calm down, Zee- “

“Don’t you tell me to calm down! What are you planning to do with this girl? Tell her what you are and marry her?” He looked at her and her eyes widened.

“You can’t be serious!”, she hissed and sank down at the sofa again. For a moment they sat in an uncomfortable silence until Zelda looked up at her brother again. “Edward, please tell me you are just making this up. Tell me you are not seriously considering to do that. You know just as well as I do that it can’t end well!”

“I love her, Zee.”

It was just a simple sentence but it made Zelda’s blood boil. Who did her brother think he was, that he could just abandon all tradition and go off to marry a mortal? Something no witch in their right mind would even think about? There was no way in heaven and hell that this was going to have a happy ending – just because Edward was high priest that didn’t mean he could just…do whatever he pleased.

She gave him the coldest look she could.

“If that’s your decision, brother, then I hope you’ll excuse it if I’m not sticking around to see it all go down.”

After that, Edward sat in the parlour in silence for hours before he finally went to bed. When he came downstairs in the morning, he found a very angry Hilda who informed him that whatever he had done, he better had a good reason for it because Zelda had left to visit her friends in St. Petersburg and ‘Wouldn’t be back until he came back to his sense again’.

 

She betrayed her words when she came back two years later for the wedding.

It had been unexpected, really. Neither Hilda who knew her sister, nor Diana who only knew of her, thought that Zelda would accept the invitation. Even Edward’s optimism had faded when she hadn’t sent them a note two days before their wedding. But Zelda had always had a thing for a dramatic entrance, so of course her arrival would be Hollywood-worthy.

Everybody was still asleep when there suddenly were loud noises downstairs and in a matter of seconds the entire household was rushing down the stairs. And found themselves face to face with one Zelda Spellman, looking just as impeccable as the day she’d left.

Edward had hugged her tightly and whispered in her ear just _how_ happy he was that she came and Hilda couldn’t help but smiling wider than Diana had ever seen, and Ambrose got a half-hug from the woman before she nudged him towards a box with his name on it. All the while, Diana stood there and watched them. She knew immediately who this stranger was, there were plenty of pictures that showed Edward with her by his side.

And finally, Zelda had shrugged off her siblings and turned to Diana. There had been a strange smile on her face but then Edward stepped forward and introduced them.

“Zelda, this is my wonderful fiancé, Diana. And Diana, my I introduce you to my sister?”

After that, the day went on and then the wedding day came. Hilda was helping Diana to get ready, along with Diana’s own girlfriends, while Zelda was flitting back and forth between them and Edward. There were many comments about the ‘other sister’, of course and while they may have managed to be somewhat civil to each other, Diana knew Zelda and she…they would never be friends.

 

* * *

 

 

They had a couple in their office, arranging his mother’s funeral, when Zelda gasped. Edward and Diana had left the evening before and Zelda had been grouchy and unhappy about it all day – a bad feeling, she said.

So when all the colour drained her face with one hand flying to her heart while the other tried to muffle the choking sob, well, Hilda knew right away that something was terribly wrong. Terribly, terribly wrong.

Afterwards she didn’t know how exactly she did it but she somehow managed to manoeuvre the worried couple outside and had Ambrose take care of them while she went back to Zelda. Never, never before had Hilda seen her sister like that. She seemed to be in a trance, a shock but not like anything that she had seen before. And that was more frightening to her than the fact that she wouldn’t even tell what was wrong.

Hours had passed since Hilda had spiked Zelda’s tea with a sleeping draught and put her shaking, crying sister to bed. It felt somehow wrong to see her usually so strong sister so…broken. And still she didn’t know what had caused this sudden breakdown.

Of course Hilda had her suspicions, something terrible must have happened to Edward. But it wasn’t until Zelda woke up again and looked at her with her big, tear-filled blue eyes and failed to say anything that she knew.

And then, finally, Zelda seemed to get her voice back – not her usual one, this one was rough from crying and so, so broken – and she whispered it to her and Ambrose while clutching little baby Sabrina to her chest.

“Edward is dead.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Aunties?”, Sabrina asked one morning before school. She had just started 3 grade a few weeks ago and now her ninth birthday was approaching.

“Yes, Sabrina?”

“Aunties, why do we only celebrate my birthday?”

Zelda nearly choked on her coffee.

“What do you mean, love?” Hilda asked her and gave her a curious look. Little Sabrina shrugged.

“Well, Roz said that her mum is having a big birthday party next week and Susie’s went out with her dad when it was his birthday...and if all other adults are celebrating their birthdays, then why are we never doing anything for yours?”

Sweet, innocent Sabrina. Always trying to be good and nice and to fit in by doing things the way her friends did. How to explain to her that there was no way Zelda would ever celebrate her birthday again? And that it would therefore feel wrong to Hilda to celebrate hers? Or that even before they didn’t have a proper celebration in years?

Hilda sighed.

“Oh love, we don’t do things like your friends because we’re witches. When you are more or less immortal you forget about time and that means, dear, that we witches don’t usually celebrate our birthdays once we’ve turned sixteen.”

“Ah.” There was a thoughtful look on Sabrina’s face as she thought about her aunt’s words. Next to her, Zelda’s knuckles started turning white because she was clutching her cup so tightly. But their niece was obvious to her discomfort from all the talk about birthdays even when she looked up at them again.

“What about my mum?”, she asked curiously, “did she have birthday-parties? Because she wasn’t a witch?”

“Well, we did celebrate with her once…”

“Why just once?”

“Oh Sabrina…” Hilda gave her niece a soft look and the girl seemed to realise what she didn’t want to say. Her parents died before her mother’s next birthday. Tears welled up in her eyes then but before she could begin to cry in earnest, Hilda had her wrapped up in a warm hug. It seemed to last forever but eventually Sabrina freed herself and glanced at her other aunt, who was still sitting at her place rather stiffly and obviously quite unhappy about her topic of choice.

Still, she had some more questions before she would be satisfied, so of course she asked away regardless of everyone else’s feelings.

“Aunties? When was my mum’s birthday?” she wanted to know with wide eyes.

“March 10th”, Hilda’s answer came without hesitation and a small smile formed on Sabrina’s face. But it quickly turned into a frown.

“And my dad’s?”

“January 7th.”

Sabrina’s head whipped around to look at Zelda, who had spoken for the first time during the entire conversation. But even though the answer made her face light up momentarily there was something in her aunt’s voice that sounded…strange to the girl. Unfortunately, it wasn’t something she could place so she decided that she must be imagining things. Aunt Zelda was, after all, always acting a little strange when it came to her brother and apparently that wasn’t different this time.

“Can I do something special for their birthdays?”, she asked after contemplating over it for a moment. That would be nice, right?

“I think that’s a charming idea, Sabrina”, Hilda smiled and to their surprise even Zelda nodded.

“They would like that very much, dear”, she said with an uncharacteristically soft smile before getting up abruptly. “If you’ll excuse me, I have things to do.”

Well, that wasn’t an unusual way for aunt Zelda to leave a conversation so Sabrina didn’t think much of it until much later, when she contemplated why her calm aunt was so affected by the simple question about birthdays. She never got an answer to that questions, just like she never knew that after sending Sabrina upstairs to do her homework, Hilda went into their bedroom to find Zelda lying on her bed with very wet cheeks.

 

* * *

 

 

It’s been a while since the last time Hilda had to comfort her but this time it’s worse than usually. Not that there was anything usual about Zelda reaching her breaking point, no, that really happened rarely; but today…it was, in a way, just as bad as the day Edward died.

Almost sixteen years had passed since the plane crashed but Hilda knew that it was still taking a tool on Zelda. Even when there was a world between them, she and Edward had a special bond that she would never attempt to replace – no matter how much she wanted to help her sister. But it wasn’t unusual for Zelda to suddenly turn around as if she was expecting Edward to stand next to her, even after more than a decade without him.

Hilda had always known that both her brother and her sister loved her but she was also aware that she had a very different link to them then they had with each other. It was natural and she had never been jealous of it. Not when Edward wanted Zelda to take the traditional ‘brother’s place’ at the ceremony that made him high priest, not when he made her stand right in front at his wedding, not even when he asked her to be Sabrina’s Night mother.

But she also knew that there was a dangerous down side to it all and that Zelda was constantly in danger of falling over she edge. Losing a twin was known to be one of the hardest things that could happen to a witch and it wasn’t uncommon for the remaining one to become reckless.

Zelda had always had a remarkably good grip on herself and Hilda was certain that the only reason for that was Sabrina. Their niece and the closest thing Zelda would ever have to a daughter. But today, their fight…Hilda had seen her break. She was also convinced that Sabrina had seen it, probably regretted her words right away but the damage had been done. And Hilda could curse herself for not looking after her sister immediately.

As it was, Zelda had ventured into their room and done something Hilda had never expected her to do ever again – hurting herself with that blasted thing. She wasn’t privy to her sister’s thoughts, didn’t know what was going on in her head as she held her close. There was no way she could give her the comfort she needed and that knowledge stung. Still, if only she knew what Zelda had been thinking so she could reassure her…

It wasn’t a complicated matter, it was, in fact, quite simple. All Zelda could think about was how much of a failure she was these days. She used to be strong, a force to be reckoned with but now…everything seemed so hard.

There hadn’t been a way to stop Hilda’s excommunication and yet it felt like she had let her down. Then there was Ambrose, whom she was unable to help for the entire time of his sentence. And Sabrina, her wonderful little girl, her brother’s most precious child. She had run away from her baptism, had done so many things that were bound to fail and Zelda had been unable to do anything to stop her.

Just thinking of all that was too much. Because not only had she failed all her living family, no, she had also failed her grandmother who trusted her with the knowledge of being the oldest, the one in charge who should take care of everyone – something she seemed incapable of doing.

But the worst part was that she had failed Edward. And that hurt more than anything else and there was nothing in the world that anyone could say to help her. Unless it was a reassurance from Edward himself, of course.

So she just sat there, clung to Hilda and let her tears fall. Crying was pathetic but at that moment even that didn’t matter to Zelda.

It took Hilda several hours to patch her sister’s back up again and by then, her tears had finally ceased. She wasn’t even sure what she had been whispering while tending to her, something about family and strength and that Sabrina loved her and children – especially teenagers – usually said things they didn’t mean…

In the end, Zelda gave her a strange look and the tiniest of smiles.

“It is my duty to keep this family running”, she whispered, “whatever it may cost.”

And when she had waited up for Sabrina later, there was no trace left of the broken woman and only Hilda knew that there was more behind that strong façade.

 

* * *

 

 

 “Aunt Zelda?”

“Yes, Sabrina?” Zelda lowered her newspaper to look at her niece who was just making herself comfortable on the armchair across the table. The girl had spent the last few days at the academy but now she was back and had for once realised that her aunt wasn’t quite as right as she pretended to be.

Of course she would never admit, that Sabrina was sure of but after all that had happened in the last few weeks – the Gryla-disaster, her mother’s ghost, taking Letty into the woods after Yule – it hadn’t really been a surprise that no one had seen Zelda all morning. But then Sabrina had looked at the date and realised that it was in fact surprising because today was her father’s birthday.

And while her aunt’s strange behaviour was bugging her, there was something much more pressing on Sabrina’s mind. Namely, the birthday. Or her daddy’s birth year.

“Auntie, where can I find a family tree?”, she asked and was surprised when Zelda turned as white as a ghost.

“Why would you need a family tree, Sabrina?” There was something strange in her voice that made Sabrina cringe inwardly.

“It’s a project we have to do for the academy.” An easy, believable lie.

“I see. Family history books are on the second shelf on the right, between Evocation and Herbalism.”

“Thank you, auntie Zee!” Sabrina beamed at her and rushed off to find what she was looking for. It wasn’t lost on her though, how strange her aunt had reacted, almost as if she didn’t want her to look at those books. Which really was ridiculous unless there was something she wasn’t supposed to know…right?

The tome Sabrina had picked was heavy and old but it was less dusty than the others next to it. She carefully pulled it from the shelf and sprawled herself over one of the comfortable library armchairs.

When her friends in school told her that it wasn’t normal to have a library full of ancient books at home, Sabrina had been more than surprised. But she had also realised quickly that it did come in handy, especially for history class or at times like these. Unlike the rest of her family though, she didn’t know her way around the shelves quite as well, hence why she asked her aunt where to look.

Sabrina gently brushed over the cover of the book, made from a soft dark leather. It was strange, really, that the book looked untouched and ancient at the same time and before she could change her mind, she quickly opened the first page.

It was actually quite boring, Sabrina realised soon, because most of what was written in the book seemed to be short summaries of Spellmans from long gone times. There usually was a painted portrait next to the name and underneath were the most important events of their lives listed, along with their partners and any children.

Usually, this book would have been very fascinating but today all Sabrina wanted was to find out something about her father. She was well into the second half of the book when she came upon a Spellman she recognised, her great-grandmother. Aunt Zelda used to a picture of them around but it had disappeared a while ago and was replaced with one that showed the four current Spellmans, Ambrose, Sabrina, Hilda and Zelda.

From there it was easy to find her father’s page, she just had to follow the indicators to her grandfather’s page and from there it was easy to find her father.

But when she opened the right page, Sabrina found herself frowning. Unlike the others, her father’s page did not belong to him alone. The intricate writing on top of the page made that quite clear, as did the pictures on each side of the heading.

_‘Zelda Spellman & Edward Spellman’_

As if they belonged together...she curiously opened the next page – which belonged to aunt Hilda, and aunt Hilda alone. So she went back and started reading the story of her father’s life. That was easier said than done because the green colour that had been used for his stories was almost undistinguishable from the red used for aunt Zelda.

What she read was captivating and thrilling but there was still something that bothered Sabrina. If only she could point out what! It was only when she finished her reading that she remembered why she wanted to have a look at the family tree. Well, this wasn’t an actual family tree but it was just what Sabrina had been looking for.

So she went back to the beginning of the page to finally find out what year her father had been born in.

And then she took in a sharp breath because the very first entry was written in red.

**_Jan, 7 th Anno 1738 – Zelda Phiona Spellman 19.07h_ **

And the entry underneath was in the same green as her father’s name on top.

**_Jan, 7 th Anno 1738 – Edward Corvus Spellman, 19.20h_ **

Aunt Zelda was her father’s older twin sister.

Tears welled up in Sabrina’s eyes upon realising the true meaning of this.

It meant that for the past sixteen years her aunts hadn’t celebrated any birthdays apart from Sabrina’s because it would mean celebrating at their dead brother’s birthday. And that, of course, was not a happy occasion. It also explained why aunt Zelda always acted so strange the moment it came up or why she never wanted to talk about her relationship with Edward.

Sabrina shut the book with a loud thump and then left it lying on the armchair. She didn’t bother to put it away, right now she had something much more important to do.

All those years she had quietly celebrated her parent’s birthdays but had never bothered to do something for her aunts or Ambrose. Now that she suspected the reason for that though…she wanted to do something for her aunts, especially Zelda.

Ever since her mother’s ghost had visited them during winter-solstice, her aunt had…been strange and Sabrina began to wonder if maybe Diana had talked to her alone at some point. But she could still hear her mother’s soft voice – ‘you have mothers.’ – and now all she wanted to do was finally make up with her aunt Zee for real. Of course she had apologised for what she had said in their fight – it seemed so long ago now but even though it had merely been a few weeks, it had been another life but it was all rushed and now it didn't feel like it had been enough.

She shook those thoughts off and ventured back downstairs again. Aunt Zelda was still sitting in the parlour though her newspaper had been discarded for a glass of hot amber liquid. Sabrina stopped in the doorway for a second and just watched her aunt, who looked so perfectly composed and dramatically melancholic and remembered that they were alone. Ambrose was at the academy and aunt Hilda had been called to the bookstore for some emergency.

It wasn’t until Sabrina stepped next to her that Zelda looked up with a surprised look, as if she hadn’t noticed her niece.

“Sabrina”, she said and eyed her carefully, “was your research successful? Or did you burn down the library?”

“I…I…”

Unable to say anything without crying, Sabrina flung her arms around her aunt and buried her face in her shoulder. For a moment, Zelda was startled but then she pulled her niece close and gently started stroking her back. Of course she had her suspicion what had cause this but she wouldn’t say a word until Sabrina was ready to talk.

“Auntie Zee, why did you never say that today … that you and dad…”

Sabrina was obviously unable to actually put her thoughts in words but Zelda understood her just fine. Suddenly, she felt very tired and let her head fall backwards to rest against the back of the seat.

“It hurts, Sabrina. Sometimes it’s better and sometimes it’s worse but it’s an ever-present feeling…” She trailed off, unsure if she should actually be telling her niece this. It’s something she only ever spoke to Hilda about and while her sister gave her best to be there for her she couldn’t truly understand. Her niece, on the other hand…she might be able to see everything in a different light. Unless, of course, she decided to be mad at them all for never breathing a word about it – but considering the way she hugged her even tighter that seemed unlikely.

Zelda’s words hung in the silent air between them and after a long moment Sabrina moved back to look at her.

“I’m sorry that I hurt you too”, Sabrina whispered and lowered her eyes. She doesn’t have to say what she is referring to; they both remember the moment all to vividly. Then her eyes snap up again and the curiosity in them is barely hidden.

“I never lost anyone like that but with Harvey – how do you do it, aunt Zee? How can you get up every morning and be…fine?”

“Oh Sabrina.” Zelda took her chin and made Sabrina look at her. “I can because of you. Because I know that you will never have the protection and love of your parents and I will always try to make up for that. The day the plane went down…I don’t remember anything of that day. Only that I was holding you and even then I knew that I had to keep it together for you because it’s what your parents wanted- “

Once again she was interrupted by a bone-crushing hug that she is pulled into and this time she hugs her niece back right away.

And then, so faint that she’s not even sure it’s real, there is a soft whisper that makes a tear roll down her cheek.

“Happy birthday, auntie Zee.”

**Author's Note:**

> A thought I had while writing something else and that I couldn't let go of...  
> And after watching the solstice-special I had to add a little more before posting it, so it's a lot longer than intended. Actually, I feel like I am saying that every time but it's true :)
> 
> I'd love to know what you think! :*


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